Dawn breaks like a bull through the hall

daddy is home today
it is like a holiday
outside early
because it is ohio
and it may be 75 in the morning

Last night my ex boyfriend from Mykonos emailed me. He has been giving me back my fading memory of the time I lived there and reminding me of Greek phrases and some history of the island. There is no budget for a trip back to research for the novel this year and I must rely on my minds ancient film, books from the library, and some things that Makis gives. He reminded me about the north winds in August called the "meltemia" and nudged me to recall Delos where we would ride small rocky boats to the island where Apollo was born and how no one may ever be born or die there now. Delos means lightfull , luminous , clear...brought to the light. He gave me tons of information and I know he will be the conduit for the glimmering scenes that once played out there in the aegean sea.
He also told me he is getting married next year and I am happy for him. Smiling/corners crack. I won't lie though-my stomach felt leady for a moment. How can I feel like that? 10 years have passed and I am deliriously happy and I do not have two lives to live. I think it perhaps roots from only child selfishness. (I blame a lot on that whenever I feel like an ass.)
We are invited and Joe says we should try and go. We have not had an adventure in Greece for five years. I could have a novel to take to him by then. I could walk off the plane and hand him the words that he so helped me form. Efharisto