But everybody wants a rock/To wind a piece of string around

Today is obviously an exciting day in Ohio. I am experiencing major stomach twisting nervous energy over the political landscape here. I am also doing bills. I think that the bills are twisting my stomach more than anything really. I left a really great career to write a novel. I chose to stay at home with my kids. I am married to a man who works for himself. I bought a house to renovate and made a decision to have two mortgages in this insane market. I can rationalize it all neat and pretty...But it sucks a little bit right now.
I am working on visualizing the future. I am peeling away the depression and funky funky layers that cloud my vision and I can sorta make out a picture of smiling carefree folks in the sun. I can sorta see myself shopping at Whole Foo
ds again and venturing into the world. If I squint very hard I can see my son in a amazing two day a week preschool. I can see museum membership card corners sticking out of my pocket. I think I can also see Nordstrom. I can definitely see a slice of a day where I don't snap at Joe because he isn't bringing home enough. I can see him exhale. I can. I can.
For now though, I am working on what I can do. On Sk-rt I found a couple great articles about food and finances. I like this one and I am going to make some of the recipes on this one.
I like reading about how other people pull stuff together and save money. My pal Susana always does a great job with her money saving kitchen skills. I am always looking.
And lately always squinting.