You can hear the engines stalling/You can hear the angels falling

Dear DWR,

I love you and I would lick all the surfaces of yr gleaming store. I love my gorgeous few pieces I have bought from you. I really do love you, but can you stop sending me magazines. It is starting to get old. I can't afford you. It is like when Sak's sends me the lookbook years after I purchased a handbag I had no business buying. I have not been to Sak's in years. I don't want to be taunted or kill more trees.
I can't make enough art out of you. You kinda annoy me bc you never listen. I have asked you three times in an email format to remove me from the mailing list. I tried to be cool, like we can still be friends and I will pop round sometimes...but yr not getting it. I also took offence when you did not respond to the emails that showed you some cool recycling projects I had done with my kids and the magazines. ( like this and this)
I thought it might tug at yr heart strings. Others appreciated it. I thought it might make a cool slot on yr blog. You have a blog?
So, I am going to send you one more email today and then we might just have to have a Come to Jesus meeting and I will take out my favorite fat black sharpie and write those final words.
Return to Sender.
and I really don't wanna be that kind of girl...

Get me delivered to yr email xo