"I left a piece of skin in a movie theater once so it could watch movies all its life."

Follow the red line, originally uploaded by ~ nebe ~.

I don't often know what I am going to blog about until around noon. Obviously there are times I know that I want to write about something in my life, but I do not draft posts or keep little lists. Sometimes I do regular series type things or such, but really I try and be loose and fluid here. I just feed the kids and shoo them away to their beds and sit here and type.
Sometimes I sit for a bit and stare out our dining room window at our neighbors air conditioning unit. (must get fence this year) Or sometimes I slam coffee, but I always try and levitate my mood and find my 90 minutes that are all mine. Mine like the only child I am kind of mine.
I try. I have been thinking a lot of about balance and how busy we are with Little Alouette.
Can I just say Holy Wood! It has been really tricky staying on top of things. Everyone has their own method, mine involves just looking at a week like the way a toddler eats.
At the end of the week did we all get enough time with each other? Mondays usually suck, but Fridays shine like diamonds. Did we all talk and kiss enough? Was Candyland played? Did we say no at least three times to things that are not going to matter later? Were many books read? Did I pretend? Did Joe know how much I love him and have I thanked him? Have a thrown him down on the couch and reenacted a scene from 2002? Was I treated like a queen at least once? Did I take time to dance with my kids? You know I don't hold Finn up in my arms and dance with him much anymore- he is so big. I better do that as much with Blaise as I can. Did it all even out? This is how I roll.

And so anyway I have been thinking about no matter how busy I get I won't stop coming here. Here is where I allow myself to remember with clarity who I am. Here is where I sing my songs. Recharge. It's like my daily pit stop and I don't think that these 90 minutes here mean lost track position like it does in a real race. I think I get my motor running and you should hear me purr through my days...
How the hell do you do it all? xo

title post- Margot at the Wedding 2007