"Buckle up, son! This is the real world out here!"

Today we go to Finnian's school for Kindergarten play based meet and greet.
I assume they are assessing all the children and we get to meet the teachers and such.

My head may explode.

I met this cool woman over the weekend at the baby expo here in town and she is a herbalist and botanist and all sorts natural goddess. She is pregnant and about to have her first baby and just like I always do I got her to talk to me about interesting and private things. It's a gift.

She could walk into a field and have that baby by herself I am sure of it.
She was so interesting to me.
She talked about her birth plan a bit and how her umbilical cord will stay intact for a time after she gives birth. How the baby and her will be strung together until it is truly necessary to cut that cord.
I feel like I have that phantom limb today.
Like I can feel this sensation between us.
Like we are still tethered and nerves are shouting to my brain to hold on a bit longer.
Don't go Finn.

He's so ready.
He told me this morning when I dropped him off that he was "kinda over preschool".
Alright. I told him that he only had three more weeks and he nodded with his eyes closed just like my father does.
He unbuckled his seat belt from across his lap and jumped quickly out of the truck.
He kissed me and ran into the school with his teacher.
He did not look back and somewhere deep inside of my guts I feel that pain.
I feel that pull.

title post- License to Drive 1988